Travel thoughts
5:30 am - Where am I? What time is it? Oh yeah… When does my plane leave and why is this my reality?
6:54 am - Do you ever feel insignificant when you walk face-first into a motion-sensing sliding glass door and it’s only after you’ve embarrassed yourself that the door opens? If this has happened more than once does that mean I’m invisible? Do I even exist?
7:15 am - The flight attendant: “... must be wearing a mask at all times, unless continually eating or drinking.” Me to myself: “ Ok great, so the two options are alcoholism or compliance.”
7:20 am - No thoughts, because flying sucks and it’s hard to think about anything. (After the plane violently hopscotches through the air, marketed as mild turbulence) Oh shit, I’m going to die! Or at the very least, I’m on the pilot episode of Lost. (Looking around at the well dressed, sophisticated passengers, compared to the sweatshirt, sweatpants me) Double shit, I’m one of the minor characters; I’m not making it to the end of the season.
8:34 am - Hallelujah, landed.
8:35 am - What a stereotype - raining in Seattle. Why do I suddenly feel the urge to buy a coffee and give cold, unwelcoming regards to the person who serves it to me?
8:40 am - (While looking at a bathroom sign that describes the bathroom as clean and fresh) Is fresh the appropriate room to describe a bathroom? (After googling the word and seeing the definition: of food, recently made or obtained; not canned, frozen, or otherwise preserved) No, this isn’t what I want in a bathroom. In fact, I don’t want food anywhere near my bathroom.
8:41 am - Oh, is that a McDonalds! Sweet.
10:09 am - Maybe downloading Uber would be good. The link rail, plus bus, plus overflowing suitcase, plus overflowing backpack, plus overflowing personal item (basically another suitcase) equals too much exhaustion.
11:01 am - (Before heading over to her apartment, carefully re-reading over the text message telling me when she’d be back) Whoops, my girlfriend is returning at 8:00 PM not AM. Why did I wake up so early? This was poor planning on my part. Might as well watch Malcolm in the Middle for the next six hours to pass the time. If anyone asks what I did today, I’m going to say I watched only a little bit of tv.
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Every time I travel I treat myself to McDonalds. Once you get past the sigma, it’s actually great food. Truly. The genius of McDonalds is their consistency. You could eat a Big Mac anywhere in the world and it’d taste exactly the same. Also part of their genius is their breakfast food; I love their breakfast food, especially the pancakes, so that’s what I ordered.
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I dislike the word “deplaning”; it's a “dedumbing” word choice. Just because you’re a multi-billion (minus a few because of the pandemic) corporation, doesn’t mean you get to make up words. While all of the other passengers deplaned, I exited the plane, like a normal person.
