Runts by Katherine
Guest post number seven! See the link if you’d like to write one yourself. This week’s post was written by one of my former work managers, Katherine. I admire Katherine’s thoughtfulness, kindness, humbleness, and sense for adventure. She is one of the few people who lives with definite passions and who steps outside of her daily routine to enjoy life - both traits I’d like to emulate. Thank you Katherine for taking the time to share your writing!
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I actually really dislike writing, always have. I'd rather stare at data than write an essay, I prefer Nerdle* over wordle, and I'll call you if it'll save me a tactful time consuming email. But I feel I owe it to Jackson to help since I might be partially responsible for some of his busyness this year. I was on a Medicare Bid with Jackson, but then I quit. And my manager quit. And his manager quit. Leaving literally just the analysts. To be honest I don't know if my leaving had any impact, because I'm not there and it's no longer my problem (sorry bud). But as any good worker, I'd like to think that everything is falling apart without me. Not too much though, because that would mean I didn't do a well enough job documenting. Which of course I did, given my love of writing.
*Nerdle is dope, you should check it out
So anyways, here we are now with no topic and a page to fill. I'm short on dumb thoughts that make me laugh; dumb things make me hurt. I do love a good rant though. So here are some dumb things I feel strongly about. Due to word count restraints, I'll keep it brief. Starting from most condensed to least condensed. I'll try to write in the same vein and style as Jackson****, albeit with a poorer vocabulary because as established; I do numbers, not words.
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Sugar
There should be more peanut butter brands without sugar than brands with sugar.
Oblivious sidewalk users
If you’re walking in the middle of the sidewalk and have headphones in, you’re not allowed to be annoyed that I spooked you. I’m literally pounding the pavement as I approach. Stay alert people. (and stay to the right!)
Karaoke**
This is a bad time. It’s loud and you can’t hear the people next to you, so you’re forced to just sit and listen to the really bad (really loud) attempts at singing. Inevitably, someone will try to get you to go up, and/or sign you up anyway: which even if I did have the gumption to go up and sing, you wouldn’t be laughing by the time my out-of-tune vocals are blessing your ear drums. You’d be cringing and regretting. And then to top it off, if you’re like me, and don’t particularly enjoy spectating music, then even the talented singers are not a good time. The only good thing about karaoke is that it means ‘empty orchestra’ ( That's right, I’m rewatching HIMYM because Netflix dropped Friends). This is the most kill-joy part about me and I stand by it.
**I don't want to admit how many attempts it took to spell this
Math
You know the folks who complained about taking math in highschool? “I’m never going to use algebra in real life”. They happen to be the same folks complaining about not learning how to do taxes. Sometimes both at the same time. Which is amazing to me. How are you going to understand tax brackets if you can’t do some simple factoring? I have a feeling your taxes aren’t going to be that complicated. You literally just have to fill out the little boxes as turbotax tells you, and assuming you didn’t also think reading comprehension was a waste of time you should be able to figure it out. It’s almost like you were given the tools to teach yourself. First step; algebra, Second step; conquer the world! Or just literally so many other things.
Saying you’re never going to use math in real life is just deciding you’re going to be a useless lump in your escape room when you need to solve for that combo lock. You’ll be terrible at Nerdle. And frankly, you’re going to have trouble figuring out how much each roommate owes when rent goes up. I’m just saying, stop complaining, solve for x, and be grateful for splitwise.
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There we have it, a couple of mini rants, runts if you will. Catch me during a car ride when I'm really riled up or late at night when the insomnia is popping. Those are when the best rants happen***.
Let me know if you agree with these very important opinions. ( Notice, this does not say to let me know if you disagree, it's purely a request for validation).
*** Top hits include: ‘Why would you ruin your song by adding clips of children singing’, ‘We could have all saved time if you had just listened to me’, and ‘rinsing the pot lid is not washing it’
**** In hindsight this is far more cranky than Jackson’s cheekiness I was aiming for. But we are ranting after all!
Toodles.
