Poker
Over the weekend I entered a high stakes Texas holdem tournament. By “high stakes”, I mean a fifty dollar buy-in, which I viewed as more of a sunk entertainment cost. You can’t beat someone who’s planning to lose; it’s really the ultimate hustle. And not to brag, but I had fun executing my plan. The three hours served as a nice distraction as I’m slowly drifting into busy season.
Instead of thinking about projecting insurance hospital incentive savings {if you had trouble reading that last string, it’s because it’s a noun stack, i.e., too many adjectives that look like nouns. Most writing guides caution against it, and I pride myself in being able to point out bad writing, even if I can’t apply it} I instead got to think about probabilities, which is another one of my favorite hobbies.
The tournament consisted of 36 players, all who had fifty bucks and a Saturday morning off. Red Dragon Casino hosts an identical tournament every Saturday, so most of the regulars trickled in between the sign-up window of 9:00 and 10:00 AM. They divided us into four tables of nine players. I arrived at 8:59 AM, filled out the registration, then sat down at table 1, seat 1. Exhibiting the same energy as a kid on Christmas, I was the first one to arrive.
Long ago, in a time before Covid, my company’s Fun Committee hosted a poker tournament - one where I finished 7th with no knowledge or experience - and since then, it’s been something I’d wanted to try again. This last week, leading up to the tournament, I consumed an entire book on poker. I probably swallowed the book too quickly, not savoring the advice, but I chewed enough to gauge a general strategy, i.e., what cards to play and what cards to fold.
As stereotyped, my table consisted mostly of old men. Apart from the geezers, we had a middle-aged couple (excited for their upcoming trip to Costa Rica), a 30-something (advocating you invest in QQQ), and a baby-faced Amazon employee. I sat next to one of the old men, one who looked like a nicer version of the Godfather, and the dealer, an overweight man with a tattoo of daughter’s name and birthdate posted on his arm. Unfortunate for the daughter, her father hadn’t bothered to password protect the personally identifiable information, an example of poor information security.
The first ten minutes, I struggled to stay afloat in the fast paced game, which began without any form of warning or whistle. The other players made decisions much faster than what Youtube had led me to believe. Since I had only played once before, I was still learning all the rules. In the confusion, I lost 20% of my stack. Most early hands, I simply folded because I lacked the time to think about my strategy. Every so often the dealer would explain what I’d done wrong and how to play correctly. The other players - either kind or maybe happy to take my money - didn’t mind, so I didn’t feel too embarrassed.
After the first ten minutes, I gained my footing. I observed enough from the other players to understand the customs and rules. Tapping two fingers meant checking. Pushing your cards beyond a line meant folding. An ante is a bet you have to pay in addition to the big blind. You must bet in increments of the big blind. Stuff like that.
I returned to my strategy and started winning a few hands. The book I read previously - named something generic, along the lines of Winning Small Stakes Texas Holdem - listed different hands to play in different positions. So, I simply memorized and played those hands while folding the others. Whenever the dealer dealt me a great hand, I moderately raised to convince the field that I had a moderate hand; and whenever he dealt me a moderate hand, I aggressively raised to trick the field into thinking I had an aggressive hand. One dream down the inception, I didn’t always know my hand strength, so my betting strategy wasn’t always consistent with my card range. I got my opponents to fold multiple hands with semi-bluffs: bluffs that I only realized were bluffs in hindsight, i.e., cards I had no business playing.
My best hand: I raised, the Godfather sizably re-raised, the Amazon employee folded, and then I three betted all-in. The Godfather called and ran into my pocket queens, the third best possible hand. He held ace/queen suited, the eight best hand, and was shocked that my broadcasted loose-passive player profile was actually the result of inexperience, not unintelligence. Sorry for him, I was actually playing tight-aggressive. Sorry for me though, the community cards showed a straight by the river, so we tied.
My worst hand: A similar, reserve situation where I held king/queen suited, I called someone who went all-in themselves, a player whose play style I didn’t respect, but ran into pocket kings. I calculated the odds on an online calculator afterwards, and I only had a 15% chance of winning that hand. Needless to say, it was my final hand.
Of the 36 players, I finished 20th, which I’m happy with given that it was my first time playing. Continuing to pay myself on the back, I improved throughout the game and had fun - my main objective. I’d like to study the game more before I quit my job to become a professional poker player.
