Lying at the gym
So I bought a gym membership today. Financially it was too expensive, so I used my credit card and outsourced the problem to my future self. Haha, that’s a joke with a bad punchline. Ask me in 30 days if it’s funny. However the way I see it, it’s not a bad investment to invest in yourself.
Consciously, the reason for getting the membership is to gain weight. When I said it out loud to the gym representative I realized it sounded ridiculous. Like maybe I should use the money to go buy ice cream instead. I’ve lost all the weight I gained in college, which makes me sad. Sad probably isn’t the right word. How about hungry, that seems right. Who would have thought that it’s harder to eat consistently when you don’t have a meal plan and someone to make you all your meals. Anyways, I figure if I work out some I’ll feel justified in eating more. Tonight I had not one, not three, but two ginormous burritos :)
Subconsciously, the reason for the membership is to impress this one girl I’ve been seeing. We’re already dating, but the more time I spend with her, the more I realize she’s out of my league. This is me being proactive, bulking up for the season. But again, that’s a subconscious reason, so not something I’m aware of.
A quick prepositional joke tangent (because the last sentence ended in a preposition)
A UNC student has a concurrent class at Duke University. The class meets in the library so the UNC student asks a stranger, “Do you know where the library is at?”
The stranger, wearing a Duke sweatshirt, thumbs up his nose and replies, “This is an epicenter of higher learning and sophisticated communication. We do not end sentences with prepositions.”
The UNC student says, “Oh, I’m sorry. Do you know where the library is at, asshole?”
After filling out all the paperwork (should I be considered if I had to sign my name seven times?) I was given 10 free guest passes for my friends. However, I could only use the guest passes if I gave the names of my friends there on the spot. Not to brag, but I’ve got 6 friends. (For any of those 6 friends, at least 3 of you should know who you are, if you want to go to the gym sometime together, let me know).
The guest-pass list was 10 entries long but I had entered only 6 friends. I didn’t want to waste the opportunity, so I lied and put 4 fake names. I put Taylor A., Taylor B., Taylor C., and Taylor D.. I handed the list back to the gym representative and he looked it over.
He said, “You sure do know a lot of Taylors.”
I replied, “Yeah, it was the first gender-neutral name I could think of…”
Well shoot, a smack to the forehead type moment. I blew that opportunity. I watched as the representative discreetly crossed the names out. What I should have said was, “Yes, I do know a lot of Taylors.”
The moral of the story is that if you have a good counter-strategy, you shouldn’t tell the person who it applies to. Like, if you know that Joffrey was born of incense, Cersi should probably be the last person you let know. Otherwise, your head might get cut off or more importantly, you’ll lose your free guest passes.
