Guest posts
For the last six months I’ve been 24 years old. In mid January, my birthday, I’ll turn 24. That may seem confusing, like driving on the left side of the road, but it’s really an issue of tradition. Go ask the British if it’s weird. Likewise, in a sense that Americans find it odd, whenever I report my age, I round. Not to seem older or some other skeem, rather, the accounting practice is just more accurate. For example, the savory, underpriced $1.99 McChicken doesn’t cost $1.00; it costs $2.00. Or the overcrowded, 2.8 mile walk around Green Lake doesn’t measure 2 miles; it measures 3 miles. Someone who’s lived 23.9 years is better classified as a 24-year-old than a 23-year-old. Rounding makes sense. The counter argument of: “Well, that’s the way everyone’s done it. You’ll miscommunicate yourself if you don’t clarify.” doesn’t hold up for me, because I’m stubborn and don’t want to compare my entrenched habits to solid logic. #ResistChange
Anyways, not to brag about my age, far from it, this post is actually a call to action for my readers! Instead of asking for gifts for my birthday, I’m asking for your dumb thoughts or short stories. I’m aiming to grow the blog and audience engagement seemed like a fun means to achieve that end. My goal/hope is for at least five brave persons to share their writing. The request is targeted toward close friends or family members, so no pressure on casual readers. But, for anyone with anything dumb to say, please write in. Once I’ve acquired these submissions, I plan to post one a week, on Mondays, until I run out.
The logistics:
For any interested souls, please submit a 300 to 500 word short story or dumb thought on any topic of your choosing. Literally anything is fair game; see past posts for examples. For ideas: It could be something relatably mundane. It could be something weird/awkward that happened to you. Or maybe it could be a funny thought
Please submit via email to dumbthoughtsthatmakemelaugh@gmail.com
Include a title
Specify if you’d like the piece to be posted anonymously or credited to your name
Specify if you’d like your writing to be edited or unedited. I enjoy editing almost as much as I enjoy writing, so I’d be happy to improve any writing if interested (for reference, I’m a B+ writer with A- aspirations)
If at any time you’d like the piece taken down, email me and that’s an easy process
Benefits of submitting:
Everyone knows it’s incredibly difficult to put something on the internet. We live in a society where free speech isn’t prioritized and where news is ruthlessly fact-checked, so you know everything you read is solid truth. To escape the confines of a regressive society, I offer you a platform to promote your message, a small pixel of the internet that you can point to and say, “Hey, you see that? I wrote that.”
You’ll save me from embarrassment. It’d look bad if no one submitted anything; that’d be awkward for me. This isn’t true - at all in the slightest - but the other day I was being beat to death on the corner of a very busy street. No one stopped to help because they assumed the next person would; granted, there were tons of people about. “Surely there is someone more qualified than I,” they thought to themselves. But sadly, they all thought the same and no one stopped. Before the final blow, the mugger asked, “Do you have any final words?” Bruised and battered, I turned toward the screen, the screen you’re reading now, and whispered, “Bystander apathy.”
