Dumb questions
Is something worth doing if no one knows you did it?
My employer is hosting a steps contest which I plan to win, but unfortunately I don’t have any device to track my steps. Officially I’ve walked zero steps. To remedy the situation, I took a long walk to the QFC to buy a fitbit, but they either were sold out or didn’t sell fitbits. Next I walked to the Verizon store, but they apparently sell “phones'' and not “technology”. Without breaking eye contact with the curt sales associate, I slowly backed out the batwing doors of the Verizon saloon.
When I got back, my girlfriend asked, “Where have you been for the last hour?”
“I’m trying to get in some steps, and I almost got in a dual with a Verizon cowboy.”
Her eyebrows make a triangle, “Hmm… I’m not sure I believe you. Do you have any proof?”
I looked down at the fitbit I didn’t own. It read zero steps. “No. I don’t have any proof.”
Does it count if something is recorded - the record says it happened - but you don’t actually do it?
Let’s say you hypothetically own a blog. You use your platform to make up a story about attempting to buy a fitbit, because it has a somewhat funny punchline. If no one is able to fact-check your fib, do you get credit for the adventure? You look down at your very real fitbit and it reads 10,000. Yes, you do get credit.
Should I tell the Fred Meyer cashier if she mistakenly undercharged me for an already discounted beanie?
By the time I decided ‘Yes I should say something’ I’d already paid, the shopper behind me had paid, and I was at an entirely different location, roasting a marshmallow over a fire. I tried Ctrl+Z but that only got me as far as the arrival to the beach.
In my defense a) the beanie had been living in the clearance basket for a while, hanging out with the other undesirables, b) I didn’t want to pile nit-picky pressure onto the cashier, who was struggling to speak English and struggling to operate the register, and most importantly, c) four dollars makes up only 0.000000000302% of Kroger’s Q1 revenue.
Should I buy Kroger stock, ticker symbol = KR, trading at $36.89 a share, headquartered in beautiful Cincinnati, the economic and cultural hub of the greater Ohio area?
No.
But while we’re on the subject, let me share Jackson’s top 3 stock picks for 2021 and beyond! Buy them now! Poised for colossal gains, these stocks could be the next Netflix!
IdaCrop, Inc. (IDA) Did you know that Idaho is the fastest growing state in the country? Even faster than Kentucky, a neighboring state to Alabama. And, did you also know that people in Idaho buy electricity and that IdaCorp sells electricity?
Match (MTCH) On the hush hush, Match also owns Tinder. They own Meetic as well. OkCupid. Hinge. Paris. PlentyOfFish. OurTime. And “various other brands”. Essentially they monopolized the online dating market without anyone knowing. In 2020, a year when all dates were canceled, they made $130 million. Imagine what they could earn when people are allowed to stand closer than six feet apart.
Accenture (ACN) My girlfriend Zooms (that’s now a synonym for works, right?) here, so you know they hire the most brilliant employees.
The list is only half a joke. I spread a few Ks between them.
