Life update
I’ve been wading through busy season at work, so I’ve had less time to write.
All my March Madness brackets are busted. He gives a menacing look in the direction of Oral Roberts. “I’m not angry, just disappointed.”
I recently beat my boo in a tennis set 6-0. She was having a bad day and tired from having to wake up at 5:30 am for a meeting, so I thought about letting her win a few games. But then thought, “No, I’m a man of integrity; it's important to have values.”
I bought Sling TV for the month of March to be able to watch March Madness games. Not to brag, but I’m at a stage in my life where I can afford an entire month of paid streaming before cancellation. Whereas in college, I set up multiple emails to take advantage of the seven-day-free trials. It’s nice not to have to jump through those hoops anymore.
The other day, the government knocked on my door and offered me $1400.
Me: “Why are you offering this to me?”
The gov’t: “It’s COVID stimulus. We know things have been hard.”
Me: “Well no… I’m actually doing quite well for myself. I recently bought Sling TV for the entire month.”
The gov’t: “For an entire month!? No seven-day cancelation?”
Me, after adjusting my hoodie all smug like: “That’s right.”
The gov’t: “Well anyways, you’re on the list, so here’s some cash.”
Me: “I don’t need this… The fact that I’m on the list makes me think you did a poor job of doing your homework. Who’s in charge here?”
The gov’t, perturbed: “Do you want the money or not?”
Me: “Ok sure whatever. If it’s free, why not.”
The gov’t: One last thing, we’re going to come back in 30 days to collect taxes. Your portion will be about $1500. See you in a month.”With my limited free time, I’m trying to decide if it would be better to focus on studying for my actuarial certification exams or using the time to write. I’m still thinking through the two options…
Is cheeseburgers + bananas + asparagus, a weird dinner combination? My girlfriend thinks so, but I don’t see what’s weird about eating healthy.
Her: “Cheeseburgers aren’t healthy.”
Him: “That’s why we’re eating fruits and vegetables as well, to balance it out.”
