Disposal of a mattress

I upgraded to a queen mattress seven months ago, so naturally, I decided this last weekend was the perfect time to dispose of the twin mattress. Two twin mattresses actually. Why buy one quality mattress when you can buy two cheap ones? Extra support and extra savings, am I right! I’m closing the chapter on a book which only 12% of adults were reading, the other 78% preferring a larger mattress size.

In the interim between me completing the lingering task and outsourcing it to my future self, my cats had integrated the mattresses into their ever expanding cat environment. I rested the mattresses against my apartment walls and whenever I’d venture out for a late night glass of water, I’d see two pairs of beady eyes begging the question: Are you ready to get ambushed? I dryly gulped no then returned to bed. 

Is it easier to inconspicuously dispose of a mattress or a dead body? In the hypothetical if you’re seen with the mattress, it’d be the equivalent of being caught with a dead body. I’d say it’s easier to dispose of a body. It’s more flexible, sports more natural colors (easier to camouflage), and takes up less car space. Imagine trying to dig a grave for a mattress; you’d have to spend twice as long digging. Also, it’s not possible to load a mattress into a car without the sizable burden blocking out every window.

I crammed the two mattresses into a medium sized Kia, having to pull down the second row of seats and having to push the front seats as far forward as possible. With my knees smushed into the dashboard, I could barely transition from gas to breaks, but I didn’t see a problem, because when has that distinction ever been important? The mattresses blocked the rear-view mirror so backing out posed a challenge as well, but what they couldn’t block was the Lord. After a short prayer, I was safely on the road.

The Wallingford dump, marketed as a “transfer station”, ranks as the most efficient government facility I’ve ever seen. The whole trip took only five minutes. A ground scale weighed the Kia, I drove into a large warehouse, unloaded the mattresses, exited back onto the scale, paid $32, and left. The trip was anticlimactically welcome. Thumbs up to efficient tax dollars at work. Located directly north of Lake Union close to a busy urban area, the unobtrusive facility hid any bad smells and kept well organized piles of trash. Highly recommend.