A hodgepot of thoughts 8.0
I’m thinking a lot of thoughts - not even high quality thoughts worth your time - but still a brain full of muck that I’d like to flush out here. [Insert toilet noise]. Have you ever had so much to do, where your plate is overloaded and you’re overwhelmed, so you set the plate down and watch Netflix instead? Well not what I’m feeling, but in the same vein, I’ve got too many thoughts, that it’s hard to focus on any one particular one. Usually I pride my posts on their ability to gradually explain the mundane parts of life, but today’s post is more for myself. Once I’ve poured out everything in my head, I can dust off the goo parts, pick up my brain, and get on with my life.
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UNC beat Duke! Did anyone see that :)
Normally I’m a big fan of empathy (it’s a core component of my religion) but it did make me happy to see Coach K cry. Maybe next year, bud.
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My company is transitioning to working back in the office and my quota has been three days a week. The most difficult part has been the daily interactions with coworkers because it’s been two years and I’ve forgotten how to socialize. I’ll be trekking through the cubes on my way to my desk, fully ready to say, “Good morning [Blank]”; but then my brain freezes because I don’t own a rolodex; I’m 80% sure I know the answer, but not enough to wager a greeting; well then again, maybe I’ve never bet [Blank]; we met in the office several months ago, but maybe just once, or maybe just through Zoom so does it really count; shit, I didn’t say anything yesterday, so I probably should today; everyone else is so talkative and together already, not something I can emulate; make a move Jackson… By the time I’ve passed the person by, with too many thoughts crashing through my head, I’m out of breath without having said a word.
Working from home is easier because Maddie and I operate on the same wavelength; we can communicate through frequencies, like orcas. It’s a more comfortable pod environment at home. The pros of coming into the office are increased productivity, complementary lunches, and job security - obviously a tough tradeoff for someone who dislikes stepping outside their comfort zone. But despite the mild social anxiety, I’ve divided up the task in manageable bite-sized chunks, like saying hello, saying goodbye, eating lunch with groups of people - all steps toward letting my coworkers know I enjoy this pod as well.
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I’d like to eat 12 books this year, but I’m a slow chewer. On top of the problem, Netflix sweets taste better than vegetable hardbacks. I’m on the cusp of the millennium generation, so naturally, delayed gratification is a downhill-both-ways battle. Not to brag, but I’m a short term thinker, so my brain defaults to the line of thinking, “I don’t know if it’s cake, but it sure does look like it. Let’s watch to find out.” If you didn’t get the reference to Netflix’s new timewaster show, it probably means you’re one of the six people on earth without access to the streaming service.
Not fully discounting myself, I’ve consumed two books so far: 1776 and How to Win Friends and Influence People, both books about navigating the egos of powerful white men and both books I’d recommend. Currently I’m working through a short collection of short stories from H.P.L. (the shorthand of H.P. Lovecraft because it allows me to sneak “short” into a sentence now, four times, and that’s dumb).
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Without divulging too many details, I recently had a blacksmith forge a classified item, and straight out the volcano, it looks great. I cut the blacksmith a quality check and shipped the mystery time out of state to avoid taxes. One of the most important considerations in expensive purchases is avoiding taxes. As a hint to the item, the color isn’t orange and isn’t a vegetable (i.e., not a carrot, but still a needed word to fill out the dumb clues).
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Would I be spoiled if I wrote the sentence: “I’m disappointed with my tax return, because I only got back $100.” I haven’t been hit with life experience yet, so I’ve always received a tax refund. One day the IRS will send me a tax refund and I’ll be confused interpreting what the negative sign means.
Me on the phone, “Yes, hello IRS, I’m calling about my tax refund, why is the value negative and colored red.”
The IRS, “It means you owe us more money.”
Me: “No, I think you’re mistaken, I shipped the mystery item to Oregon, they don’t have a sales tax there.”
The IRS: “We’re referring to the money you owe the federal government, not the money you loopholed out the state government.”
Me: “Hmm, well is there any way you could make better use of the money I already sent you? Or maybe cut unnecessary spending.”
The IRS: “Sorry no. In order to make that happen you’d have to convince stubborn old white men to set aside their differences and make some compromises.”
Me: “Touche! I recently finished two books about this very subject. Send me their address and I’ll move mountains.”
End scene.
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I’m almost two years removed from my last exam success, so I created an exam study schedule for the summer. First on the docket, the FSA Health Economics Module has been given the first three (post busy season) weeks of June. I’ve been turtling through this module while I was waiting for the grade on my ASA Final Assessment, which turned out poorly (see previous blog post). The gist of the module: Canada’s health care system isn’t that great. The maple leaf bureaucrats don’t cover much and the wait times for the services they do cover are 127 hours too long. Might as well just solve your health care problem yourself. Not only that, the program is dangerously underfunded.
The module allocated 20 of the 385 slides to Canada, but it’s the section that most caught my attention, the one section I read in entirety. Now, following the onslaught of skimming (I gave 80% effort, but still got a participation trophy) I need to complete an end-of-module assessment, which should take four to six weeks. I'm going to do it in three. Based on my exam track record, and ignoring recency bias, this is entirely doable.
Second on the docket, I’m going to spend four weeks studying for and retaking the ASA Final Assessment. I’m still bitter about the first failed attempt so, this paragraph only gets two sentences #NoSoupForYou.
To round out my fun summer plans, I’m going to attempt my first FSA exam, Group Health Design Pricing. I’ve been told by my successful coworkers that the FSA exams require a lot of memorization skills. This shouldn’t be a problem, because as my coworker [Blank] can attest, I’ve got great memory skills. In all seriousness, the content seems interesting - answering the question: how much should your health insurance cost - so I’m excited for the challenge.
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I have a moral dilemma that speaks to the question: “If I have to make a choice, is it better for me to be in a medium amount of discomfort or for all those around me to be in a small amount of discomfort?” Well, I have a weird lump in my armpit. For a sense of size, it’s not something I’m concerned about, but something my girlfriend said I should get checked out. On the record, because I’m writing the record now, it’s hardly noticeable, you’d have to shave all the hair just to see it clearly. Anyways, it hurts to put on deodorant, so now I have to choose either a) grit through it and smell nice {medium discomfort for myself} or b) forgo the deodorant and smell like gym socks {small discomfort for those around me}. I’m sure there are other angles to the problem, but these seem like the clear black-and-white options to me.
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At the cheap seats movie theater in the U District, right between the hole-in-the-wall Shawarma joint and the Psychic Clinic, Maddie and I saw Morbius, an ugly bad movie, but a pretty good timekill. We had the entire showing, late on a Friday, to ourselves, so we talked throughout the movie and didn’t silence our phones - a real empowering experience.
When we went to leave, we found the door in the lobby locked. The door was padlocked with chains from the inside. The cashier was nowhere in sight. The lights were off. We were the only ones left in the theater.
Here are the thoughts that went through my head:
It’s 11:05 PM. I’m unimpressed with the cashier’s work ethic.
How do we leave?
Should we check for a key behind the snack counter?
Does this mean we get free popcorn?
Ultimately we found a side door with a note saying to unlock for anyone left behind. Apparently this wasn’t an isolated incident. I’m no expert on running a business, but it seems like a liability to lock the customer in the business.
