30-minute walk
Every work day at 2 pm, I take a 30-minute walk. If you couldn't infer from the title already, this post is going to be me, bragging about my mental health for the next 1,000 words. In order to become an influencer, I need to work on putting people down, and I don't see any better place to start than the arena of mild exercise. I'm not saying that I'm better than you, unless you walk less than 30 minutes a day, in which case, it's exactly what I'm saying.
Usually I start by checking the mail. Our short, box-on-a-poll mailbox loafs around at the front of our landlord's house, so it requires that I walk a bended block through the alley and around three houses to meet him. Not to brag, but our mailbox is very popular with the postal system. Granted, most of the mail is bulky ads or misdirected mail to our landlords, but I think it's the thought that counts. The thought that quantity mail supersedes quality mail. Like most statements today, that's not true, but it was a sentence.
Bloke, the mailbox, does a poor job of keeping the mail. He smooshes the obviously priceless 10% off coupons to QFC, and, whenever it rains, douses my numerous opportunities to sign up for a high interest credit card. I believe all Americans should have the freedom to make bad decisions, and Bloke is impending my constitutional right to expedite that process. Anyways, what he lacks in organizational skills he makes up for in being the only option, so we keep him around.
Recently Bloke handed me my W-2, and I was surprised to see an advertisement for Turbo Tax on the important document. I don’t think the government should be selling ad space on my IRS related documents, or any government issued documents for that matter. Imagine being handed the birth certificate to your first child and seeing an ad for 50% off 23-and-Me.
You, the new parent: “What the hell is this ad doing on my baby's birth certificate!?”
The government: “Oh, I’m sorry. Would you like to exchange it out for a free tire from Michelin instead?”
You: “What are you talking about?”
The government: “ We have alternative promotions if you’re not interested in the 23-and-Me kit. Most parents like to know their baby’s roots, so 23-and-Me is a popular option.”
You: “That’s not the problem. Why is it on the birth certificate to begin with? The dumb ad is blocking out the section for “parents.” It’s completely inappropriate. A birth certificate should be preserved, and, you’ve blundgered up and disgraced the document. My kid has to look at this the rest of their life whenever they present their birth certificate. Are you going to fix the problem?”
The government: “Well… We really need the extra revenue. We made some bad investment decisions a couple years ago, on some programs we couldn’t afford. The ad money helps offset the losses. We can’t afford to remove the ad, but maybe we could throw in something else to ease your troubles.”
You: “Ok, this is ridiculous. What do you have in mind?”
The government: “Would you like some tax credits to go with your new baby?”
Anyways, the government really caved on that one. Conversely, whoever lobbied to make the Turbo Tax, W-2 advertisement happen, they deserve a promotion. Congrats to them a job well done.
***
This is usually how the first part of my walk goes. I grab the mail, then start thinking dumb thoughts related to that. In the event we receive quality mail - something from a person rather than a corporation - I'll drop that off back at the apartment before continuing in a random direction. By random, I mean uniformly distributed along a North-South, East-West axis. Obviously my vector isn't on a three dimensional plane, that would be crazy, and, I don't own a shovel.
If I choose to go South, the 15-minute point of the walk drops me off at a park with a beautiful view of the Seattle skyline. The breathtaking view - which I couldn't afford as a homeowner, but can as a renter - makes me feel grateful for my big-city job where one day, that reality will be flipped. The therapeutic benefits of the walk help chop up my day, so I’m not constantly thinking about work. It pushes aside daunting deadlines and points to the big picture of life - home ownership (as aforementioned) and the NFL.
During the walk, I’ll listen to the award-winning podcast: Around the NFL. Maybe not intuitive from the title, the podcast is about the NFL. The well-researched hosts always hype me up for Sunday, and if you haven’t been following, these playoffs have been the best of all time. Most recently, I’m happy that (A) the Chiefs imploded, crash landing from their supposed mountain of greatness and (B) Matthew Stafford is having success after his divorce from Detroit, escaping a 12-year abusive relationship.
For the superbowl, I’ll be rooting for the commercials. I’ll also be rooting for the Bengals. I don’t necessarily consider them a real team, but I’d like to be proven wrong. Normally I view them as a filler team for the real teams to play against to fill out their records. In my personal philosophy there are only 10 real teams: The Cowboys, Steelers, Packers, Chiefs, 49ers, Seahawks, Broncos, Eagles, Giants, and whichever team Tom Brady currently plays for. Notice that I didn't include my own team in that set. Unfortunate as it may be, after years of mediocre performance and dismal fan support, a team can slip off the list.
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When I walk East, the walk battles me with a 19%-grade hill for five blocks. If you’re not good with geometry, you could say it’s basically a half incline, straight up a cliff. (If you are better with geometry, you’d know it’s closer to a quarter incline, straight up a cliff.) {If you didn’t care, it probably means you’re neither into geometry nor into dumb commentary.}) The sidewalk drops off so abruptly that the engineers built slabs into the concrete to catch your footing. Since I’m not the best at geometry, I can naively say that the slabs are essentially a ladder straight up the mountain. I tackle the hill about 1 out of every 10 walks, so once a fortnight.
The second benefit of the walk - the first being the benefit of clearing my mind - is the exercise. This section of the post is where I brag about mild exercise. Maddie once watched a 60-minutes documentary on blue zones around the world, then she told me about it, so in essence, I’ve seen the documentary by association. The documentary talked about different regions around the world where people live abnormally longer than their expected lifetimes. Think of a peaceful Greek island with simple living, where everyone lives to 100. The main researcher investigated similarities between the regions and found mild exercise to be a common factor between them.
Simple, active daily routines, like gardening or walking, have better long-term health benefits than exercise bursts, like going to the gym. They said so in the documentary, so it must be true. The Magnolia hill along Dravus, the aforementioned mountain, is an undocumented blue zone. I’m going to live to be 100.
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The West direction option of the walk pushes me though a nature corridor. Think trees, bushes, and…, I’d guess I’d say, other greenery. Since I live deep in the city, I lack the vocabulary to accurately describe the outdoorsy section, but I can say it’s very therapeutic. The green colors relax me more than the pervasive color of city concrete. It’s much nicer to step in dog poop while walking on grass than it is while walking on the sidewalk.
The small block of creation makes me feel grateful for my warm home, my personal relationships, and Sammy Rae, the world’s greatest musician. If it isn’t the Around the NFL podcast, I’ll listen to music during the walk, and nature makes me appreciate artistic mastery all the more. I’m not sure why, maybe the benefit of clearing my mind or focusing on the simple, but music tastes better if eaten in nature.
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In keeping with the directional theme, if I go North, I walk by a lot of homes. People watching is fun, so that direction is another good option.
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The walk - while not the best part of my day, but always a highlight - always gives me joy from the timeframe of 2:00 to 2:30 pm. For anyone looking to level up on life, this power-up is a great option. Highly recommend. Five out of five.
